This is really what the shit.

I had enough of all these. Being banded with the bottom 20% for most of the subjects, night study almost every prelim, at home crazy people just don't understand and don't give me any chance. You want me to get good results, but complain to me almost every time I get my tuition fee from you. Just ONE tuition and you complain. You think I want to take up tuition for another subject?! Forget it la, do badly then do badly, I will not ask for tuition again.

People are getting good progress award certificates on Graduation Day, what's the point of you going when I did so badly?! And it's the both of you. I told you don't go means don't go, can you fking listen to me for once. You are making me stress and feel so helpless man.

I hate you seriously.

Harrrrllloo!

Most of the time I will be typing in my phone, then upload when I am free because if I type in my browser it'll take forever.

So...

Finally!! Mom is confirming the dates which she will be taking her leave so we can attend cousin's wedding! Yay! After 3 years we are going back! Last time it was 7 years. One of my older cousin asked me this which was quite sad: 7年才回来一次，下次见面要等7年啊.. So sad. T.T 这次不用7年了!

It's hard for us to go back every year. Unlike my mom's friends, they go back every year without fail. Dad is forever busy with his students and his holiday intensive lessons. Mom's company always have those year end sales, Christmas sales etc that need people to help out. Sigh. We go back also nothing to do, because the cousins will busy with their jobs, studies. Our holiday time = the beginning of their new term. = = So we won't see one another...

Yay! So we are going back this Dec! I'm worried about the clothing.. I don't wanna wear what I wore 3 years ago. Because it was a short visit and we were all in a hurry, I did not bring enough shirts, and was wearing my aunt's coat.  And I wore the retarded fat jeans!! Arghhhh!! Horrible..

I'm really saving up to get some appropriate winter clothes ummm from Esprit or Topshop? At least one nice coat for the wedding? I don't care I'm buying one.

Right now, the most important thing is O levels. I'm studying hard! Must go back, enjoy, and have fun. Let's not have regret after O's for not studying enough. Jia you jia you!

All the way! Go Rong! ¦D

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He's very handsome right OMG. But he's quite old already. 29 I think. :( So you no chance liao. HAHA. No, is MEEE I don't have chance liao. Sigh.

Okay I haven't been blogging for so long I forgot when I last blogged because yea you know, we sec 4s are getting real busy with prelim. I don't know why but I always feel the stress only when it is one or two days before the real thing, if not I just relax.. NO THIS WON'T DO. Like English oral, I actually felt nervous when my name was called by the teacher to get ready for the 10 min preparation. I'm a bit lag. o.O

(Why am I posting pretty pictures?) Someone is treating me Starbucks if I do well for Prelim III. I believe he said it because he is super confident I can't do it. :\ Yea duh, 5A2s. I can't even get 5B4s now. 10 more days to the first paper. Rong jia you jia you!! 

Did some house work today. Yipppppeeee. Feel energetic cus I drank 2 cups of coffee today. One for breakfast (and it's super bitter cus my mom loves the 50% less sugar one, she's crazy) and one Mocha Frappe. Hehehe frappe again. FRAPPE FOR THE WIN! ^^ 

Well last night they quarrelled again. He's not happy about her talking about his bad points in front of the kids. Bro went back into his room immediately when he sensed the tense atmosphere, leaving me in the living room with them. I was watching my favourite show when it all started. I knew I should not hide, my aunt called last month telling me to stay with them when this kind of thing happen, so I did.

One was pushing the blame to an outsider, the other one was taking all the blame to himself. Sigh. The things they were scolding each other were totally NO LINK. They were scolding different things, not scolding each other. They just kept arguing over different things..... In the end, he came to a conclusion that everything will end next week.

Oh my god....

WHAT END?! What the hell are you two thinking about?! WTF. You two fight, quarrel, scold, happily end it yourselves, and leave all the shit to us kids? Do you care how we feel? Not the outsider's fault! It's both of you's fault! 

Yea so I ate with her tonight. I gave all the advice I could give, trying to sort everything out as someone who's not involved in this. I tried to make assumptions about what could have really happened, and what might not have happened and it was her own thoughts. I hope she's not gonna tell me "choose who you're gonna live with" again because I hate that. I HATE TO HEAR THAT.

I am glad she's happier now. And she promised to apologise later. She told me that if they quarrel again, I should go back to my room and don't bother. No, I will not do that. I want to prove that I'm old enough to solve this for them. There must be someone there to tell them to SHUT UP before they become more angry and more hurtful words come out. When you're angry, you tend to say more hurtful words and purposely wanna make your opponent angry. And they are both hurting someone they love the most..

Okay.. I should go study now. Geoggggggggg time! :D

Ok.. Had been studying for SS and doing the YuYing paper. Hahahaha.
Hmm.. Had fun during English today. Well, we basically slacked the 2 periods away, talking about childhood and speaking in weird accent about Christopher Columbus.

Dumb Gold and HooYoo both had good pals running around the neighbourhood with them when they were young. So nice. (:

I have a very complicated family, I mean relatives.. Complicated not in the BAD way, as in the relationships.. Yea you know. This aunt, that daughter, a huge family at my mom's side. So I have a lot cousins. When my mom's away in Singapore, I always go to my Wai-Po house to find them.

As my dad was the younger one. of the TWO children in his family, he's like the 宝贝儿子, plus he's a guy. So after my mum married him, she came to live with my Gong-Gong and Po-Po (dad's side).

My Wai-Po has 7 children, so compared to my dad's family, yea they're poorer. And my dad lived in the so called "town" area in the region.. By the way, one of my mom's sister married my dad's cousin... Which made the relationship complicated again.

Ok leave that aside!! That's why every time my family's visit to my Wai-Po's house will be like those VIPS.. Before my bro's birth, I was the youngest, that made my cousins gave in to me more.

Miss them...  ):

Saw their photos taken at the beach, so happy. Thinking back, I would follow them whenever they go to places like that. Now everyone has grown up, they lived near but also didn't visit one another often. Maybe during the holidays...

The most handsome, yet oldest cousin was married in 2010, we used to have a promise that we would attend one another's weddings when we grow up.. I was still studying that time, around Nov. Only my mom attended it. It was very grand, 20 wedding cars went to pick up my cousin-in-law that day. Everyone were there(the cousins), except me.

I tried talking to my 表姐 a few months ago, and she was a bit cold. towards me.. Like a total stranger. 2 of the guy cousins talked to me when they were free until last year, when one of them started working and the other started uni. ): The handsome married one was the worst... His wife has something against me I think.

Sigh. Feel so sad now... Everytime I look at that photo, I ask: Where am I? Why am I here?

So sad now. Nights...):

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I realised something.. I think it's hard for me to like someone right now. That's a problem?

Of course not, just feel ummmm... Don't know eh. I always had crush on people, like P6, sec 1, sec 2. Since the beginning of sec 3 I think, I felt that "crushing on someone" was rather impossible. As for the sexy person(yea that hot guy), it's... I just find him good looking but no feeling.

Yupp. Tsk. I don't know. I don't walk on streets looking out for handsome guys anymore..(Instead I look for chio bu hahaha) Chio bu is because I wanna see what bag they use, their style of clothing.

I actually forced myself to forget someone I met last year. I took 3 months to totally erase him from my life, and assuming he didn't exist. (I can't deny I still look out for him on the streets now?) It was hard. Yea, very hard. Especially when you know he's also very good to you.

Thinking back, how I endure those months... It was hard.

 As for now, due to someone constantly repeating her disappointments in her husband, I am slowly losing faith in guys. I am even wondering if I can find a boyfriend in future. Or should I say: Will this word 'boyfriend' exist in my life? Hahahaha. So funny right.

I'm not worried at all. Mom talked to me about 'marriage' during dinner which inspired me to write this post. I almost answered her: I will not get married.

This thought has been with me for very long...hmm. (: Physics test. Good luck!

Sorry people but my blog posts are always in chunks and no paragraphing.. Cus my phone cannot type in the "Compose" section of new posts but only the "HTML", so even if I make it leave a line it will appear together after I published so I need to edit when I use the computer.. = = Troublesome.

SNSD's Paparazzi. Another shocking comeback for their new Japanese album and yea, being SNSD is always an advantage. 7 minute long video, with 2 minutes of audience clapping. And their dance moves really (Y), very new and pretty, especially the starting with YoonA in front. My favourite part! :D They all look cool here. Quite sad for f(x) though... Electric shock, sigh... Not much changes, even the style of their MV is the same. :( But I'm kinda glad for their 13 million views in a week. Good job f(x)!

Okay. I don't understand why hor... She knows that when adults quarrel, kids suffer, but she still wanna gain our sympathy. She asked me why I can still smile and joke when she's sad. I told her: You're sad for so many hours already, you want me to accompany you?

Seriously! My mood was ruined almost EVERY single day when she talks about the stupid bitch who's bitching around. I can't even think when I see the Amath questions, don't even need to mention study Bio or Organic Chem. Those information will not get in my head. I tried to read the notes, but the thought of the bitch trying to do something bad came and I stared at the notes for 10 minutes, then I changed to math but it's the same.

I forget about most of the things I learnt, AGAIN. Shouldn't it be the time to start recalling and revising? Why is my brain still filled with all those worries, bad thoughts, bad imaginations about what will happen if something happens?! I need to calm down and STUDY! Okay since I'm going to night study, maybe I can study, since everybody will be studying together.

I'm just afraid I will cry in school again.. I don't want to do that man, so embarrassing.. YA will be looking!!

Sigh.. I can cry when I eat dinner man, what should I do?...................................

Can adults please please please think for us!? They pity the kids out there, why can't they pity us?! We are suffering too! Imagine at night, when you're about to fall asleep, you hear them raise their voice, and you're awaken, then you feel scared, then you cannot sleep, but you have to sleep, then you try to sleep, they slam the door...

It has happened so many times and even when I close my door when I sleep, I can still hear them outside.....

High L1R5 is already stressing me out please STOPPPPP ALL THIS please....

Saw SM's post about ideal guy and I start to wonder about my ideal guy too. Hmm, did a lot tests and quizzes on this topic and it's quite fun. After a few years, let's see if my taste changed. (:

Ok. First of all, I think looks matter umm to some extent. When you dream about your ideal boyfriend, you won't think he's ugly and that makes him not ideal already right. Handsome? Umm like Super Junior's Siwon? He's too MAN-ly which umm I don't really like. He's too perfect you see. Tall, handsome, has dimples, caring, neat. Too perfect.. So no.

Cute like Shinee's Taemin? Yes but he's tooooo cute that people say he's too feminine. Sigh. He looks pretty, like a 美男子. That's not his fault, he's born with it. And being the youngest in the group, he's quiet as he has to respect his older brothers as they speak. So Taeminnie's character is the one I like. Hehehe. He's very shy when talking about his ideal type of girls, and because he's very young, most girls around him are older than him. So he rarely pick Korean stars his ideal type.

Heechul's character too. He's humorous, umm gets angry only for a while and he's very manly in some situations. I don't know, after watching Intimate Note, I really like him a lot. Yes his unique character. And being cold to strangers and warm to close friends. That's a plus! (: Just like Jessica, the ice princess. Haha.

Umm I think a guy who plays good video games is quite cute. Taemin. Hahaha. He's real good at sports and video games. No, actually he's best at poppin' and free style. Hahaha. His dance skill is totally, amazing.

 In general, umm.. A guy is humorous, has a nice voice, has nice fingers, a bit 欠扁, tall(175cm at least), has an ambition, is competitive when it comes to serious work, playful, faithful, filial, is not stingy but also won't 花钱 like 流水. Yup. Ideal guy! (I think I'm describing Taeminnie..)

Taemin ah, he's just a..a...a.. person I will never meet in my entire life. But no doubt he's a good guy. He's sigh... Really the best Korean guy I've seen so far. YongHwa from CNBlue is quite good too, but he can't replace Taemin. Okay. Bye.

I'm being foolish again.. It's bro's birthday plus Daddy's day today. I actually cried during the meal, and ruined everything. Dad left the table immediately. I wasn't wrong! If you see my mom's fking look and behavior when eating, you will probably just slam the table. I gave signs, hinted for her to fking STOP her nonsense, she continued. Yea, they have some problems going on themselves. And there she was trying to get herself drunk, not eating, and spill her drink all over the table.. Seriously!??! I even said: HEY, I'm gonna beat someone up. Wasn't this clear enough?! Stop your nonsense!? I hated it even more when she even started to talk crap. Oh god, STOP IT! Dad was okay, commenting on the food and stuff, yet there she was, trying to be in a state of.... DEPRESSION!? I was so ANGRY that I cried. And she still asked me to eat. Eat what shit man. I left the table after my dad. I couldn't continue a dinner like this man. One person quiet, one person just eat, another tried to ACT crazy. Enough! Why must I be the one to ruin everything?! You all have something just say la! I'm really very angry.. The first thing she came home was to occupy me with the crap they two had. I am still a child, YOU THINK I CAN TAKE THOSE STUFF!? What money what love I DON'T CARE! I DON'T CARE! What bitch, who is that bitch, why must I go find out!? I feel like dying. I wanna study, but I can't. No mood.

Brain is in a mess.. Went out yesterday and today, to Orchard and Bugis. Something happened and urgh I don't know.. I don't know what is it like if that is real you know. I don't wanna live in a family like that.. No! No! It will never happen! I wish that bitch knows that she has a husband and keep her bitchy actions to herself. I'm not making everything sound obvious, right? I'm very very scared, if one day this really happen, and I will have to cry every time I think of this and it will make a gigantic change in my life that may drive me insane. I'm not exaggerating.. O level year ok, please please don't do this. Had a nightmare last night and it feels real. I wanna go to China right now, maybe alone. I just want some quiet time and free from all these troubles.. It's enough! I'm praying really hard that the bitch is not really doing it. Or else... Both me and my brother won't let her off. I'm not sure what we will do, if we are really angry. To you both. I'm really scared to see you two fight. I would always cry and don't know what to do... Please please stop quarrelling. Give me some peace to study... I'm really running out of time...)':

Whenever I'm angry I can't hide it. I just keep crying but the anger won't go off. To the damn fking bitch: You fking bitch stay away from my family I tell you. So old still dye your damn fking hair BLONDE. Look at your fking face in the mirror. Just look! Old bitch wear hot pink dress with shiny silver belt? Use your damn eyeballs to look! If you fking bitch ever become the reason that something BAD happens to my family, you pay for it. I swear I will kill you bitch. Wah bitch isn't the word to describe you this kind of woman. In Chinese you're just 下贱. I'm still tolerating. I will tolerate it, for now. If you fking woman who is so bitchy, continues to be bitchy, you watch out. I will go look for you, scream at your face, and slap you. Don't say I'm scared, I'm just waiting for a chance.

The apologetic feeling is always coming back.. I wanted to say 'sorry' but there's no chance and I'm such a loser who doesn't dare to apologise when I have the courage to hurt them. Okay, this post is dedicated to you all. First one.. ok I know I'm not a good friend, I'd hurt you a lot a lot, I could tell from your FB status. Your posts sounded really sad, yea I saw 'em.. I wanted to say sorry but I shouldn't, I did regret a bit. Know what, nope you surely won't know. My best friend, I was sure, she fell in love with you. We had several talks over the phone just because she couldn't decide whether she really liked you. I knew, I knew she definitely liked you, just she hadn't feel it. I was afraid that ME, yea I was such a bitch, I would like you too. So I stopped all communication with you since that day. I became super super unfriendly and even used rude words on you. Sigh.. You wouldn't know that I felt bad and uncomfortable during that period of time. I felt weird and weird arghh how to say.. Except that I didn't cry. You're a great friend. You came to play basketball with my brother, when you were really busy. You were the first guy except my own family members to care about my lunch and dinner. ): Remember my one year free supply of Takopachi? I'm sorry.. Second one. I was thinking that what I did to you was right all along. I was 'taking revenge' so I became a back stabber. I made your friendship with him worsened that you both got nothing to say since then. You must have hated me, maybe you still hate me now. Hmm. You were also a great friend. You came to look for me and Wenqi at the dentist, came out to eat with me and DumbGold, listened to me crap and complain about someone, lectured me all the way home.. Hai... I'm sorry. Last one. This person always make me cry when I think about my days with her. I always think about how my life will be different if we are like last time. I miss the time we went out to eat and crap. We would talk about guys, food, idols and etc. We went shopping, buying stuff together like those 3 for $5. No matter how expensive the food was, you never hesitate to eat with me, then bankrupted for the next few days. Things have changed. I wanted to tell you I'm sorry.. I still still still don't know what's the real reason that caused us to be in this state. I wanted to ask you but, as I said, I don't dare. Yes I'm such a coward. Coward! I always don't apologise to people I've hurt. I suck! Okay I'm feeling sad again. Sigh. *wipe tears wipe tears* I love all of you ok! You all ARE my great friends.. 对不起.

Yes it's handover today, cus it's already past 00.00! Kinda sad just now while writing the cards to the juniors.. CO reminds me of so many things.. Sigh. I joined Guzheng ensemble in P1 in OEPS after seeing those girls performed. After transferring to YNPS, I joined GZ again. It's said that 2 best players would be asked to go for SYF with Chinese Orchestra, which did not have Guzheng in it. My seniors were selected, of course. So this became one of the motivation to practise. At the end of P5 year, me and my other friend were asked to join CO. That was the first time I played an instrument with other instruments. I learnt to look at the conductor for signs. I learnt to listen for other accompaniment.. In an ensemble, you look at either the lead or the person beside you if you're lost. It's easier to listen as the person beside you is playing the same thing as you. Somehow I was trying hard to count the bars and beat that time in the orcjestra... Umm.. and there's this guy who blows the dizi.. He was playing one part of the song, which is a GZ-dizi duet. Hehehe.. So there was this time, I was bored and people were having a break. Most of the people were outside and I guessed only 10 people were in the room.. I was bored right.. So I started playing the duet part. [It's obviously duet but the teachers said it's a solo to emphasise our importance so we would work hard..] Yea then I heard dizi blowing the exact same melody!! OMG I was shocked so I looked up, and saw the guy. He knew how to play my part OMG I was thinking that he's damn smart! Yes. He is! He used one finger to run from the lowest note of Guzheng to the highest for ONCE and he knew that there is no 'fa' and 'ti 'in the D scale of Guzheng. He's amazing. I swore I loved CO more than GZ then, even though the 'solo' was just the introduction of the song.. The parts behind didn't really need us. Yes, I loved CO to the extend that I quited my tuition in March of PSLE year and went for pracs until 7pm almost every Mon, Wed, Fri and sometimes Thur too. I was sort of... CRAZY over CO. I wanted to be part of the big family, so heart-warming and feel a sense of belonging.. I couldn't recover from the after-SYF-syndrome the day after CO SYF. I recorded a lot of the pracs because I felt that they were part of the important memories.... [22/04/2012] Right now it's 22 Apr and the chem slides are really taking up a lot of time.. Making it presentable and putting in information require TIME. Yea, I stopped at the 40th slide, gonna put in the infos about the carbon cycle, then that's job done. Hehe. Sometimes... I just find it damn tsk how to say.. Some people they're just 太自以为是. Really eh! Can you suckers STOP assuming yourselves are those 至高无上的人? Some people think they're damn clever, and whenever they get bad results they say they never put in effort, or they purposely never study. You think I believe? You just wanna show that you're smart, just that you didn't work hard enough. There is this type of people who think they know EVERYTHING and keep showing off their limited knowledge, and think they're full of wisdom. Oh my! *facepalm* just wanna say: Your arrogance is pissing me off. K night.

Ummm... Umm... Whenever I feel nervous, I don't feel cold, I feel warm like I've got fever. Yeaaa, I should stop worrying. Stop worrying... stop worrying.

Type in Chinese! So long since I last typed in Chinese..

哎...

或许是我太不够努力。每天回到家就先睡觉，到晚上8点9点才开始读书。。把下午的时间都浪费掉了。

考试前，其实我对Physics 和 Emath 是很有信心的，结果成绩出来时让人看了都想哭。有的时候真的不明白为什么要读书，难道我的人生就只围绕着学习和课本吗?

从去年开始，我渐渐地感受到同班同学可怕的眼光。直到今年，我真的真的真的受不了了。才四月而已，我就已经压力到连泪水都控制不住。以前多么坚强的人， 现在总是为了小小的事闹别扭，发脾气。在学校已经算ok的了，在家里我真的尽量不说话。有的时候压力到肚子都不会饿，妈妈叫我吃饭时我还会骂她浪费我的时间。对不起。。。我真的很累了。

去年吧，我还愿意乐观地面对失败。不及格就下次努力吧! 现在突然觉得摔倒了，就站不起来了。好想放弃哦，能不能让我有一天离开这里，再也不用面对这些事，这些人。

我恨那些人的目光，那些狠狠把我推倒的目光。恨那些曾经接受过我的帮助的人，现在却因为我的烂成绩而丢下我的人。你们等着瞧吧，继续讨厌我吧，我没关系的。

只剩下几个月了，再过几个月就不用再看到我了，开心吗?

It's only April and I've cried two times in class.. First time its because of someone, second time for results. I seldom cry over results, cuz I did that a lot of times at the beginning of last year and now I find it meaningless. A 'fail' isn't that surprising and unexpected anymore. My heart already used to seeing THOSE kind of scores. Yes, it's alright.

It's the freaking type of look those people are giving. Lol I am so stupid, I take them very seriously. I might say 'I don't care' but HOW CAN YOU NOT CARE?! I thought WBD is that kind of 'biased-towards-smart-kids' person, but isn't our FT the same? Moreover, with my skirt length, fringe length and sock length, SHE SURE FINDS ME an eyesore.

Plus my all Cs report card, and my quietness in class.. Lol, I'm damn irritating right?

Speaking of quietness.. I wasn't like this in sec 2. I got punished for talking too much in class and go to toilet without permission, and I actually have the photos of those 100 lines of 'I shall not talk so much in class'.. Why? Why did I change? It's time to reflect, really..

Wait, is it because of BD? She told my mum during last year's PTC in March, that I was too quiet. After I went home, I told myself to be more quiet in her class, because the more she finds me like this, the more I wanna be like this. In Chinese: 你不喜欢? 我就偏偏这样.

Yes. That's just part of it.

Since the beginning of this year, I started to feel those 'looks' from people. Usually I just ignore, but this year I am taking them more seriously. STUPID MAN! = = I just feel that there are a few idiots who started to avoid me and refrain from having communication with me, because being with me will simple bring them down to MY level. Since my results are like shit, I keep asking people how to do, which make them think that I'm totally STUPID. Simple things also don't know how to do MEH? (add this in to sound like them)

I felt one tiny drop of tear after getting back Emath but I kept twlling myself 'NO DON'T! DON'T CRY IT'S EMBARRASSING.' Then HooYoo asked me if I got 3a correct, I got irritated and threw my pencil on the table, telling her 'NO LA I GOT IT WRONG' in a super annoyed tone. She was shocked for a moment, then she left me alone.

I felt damn damn damn damn sorry that time. It's my own problem, yet I 发脾气 at her. So I just flipped my paper while putting my head on the table..

She thought I cried so she patted my back. THEN I REALLY STARTED CRYING!! OMG funny right.. When the bell rang, I stopped crying. Then Dumbgold turned around and told me "毛，振作!" and the tears came again..): I was too touched that they were there, when I was really gonna die. And not forgetting SM, who was with me during mental break.. Oh yes, and one person's 性感 voice that was behind me during mental break. I swore I heard him sigh and he did not talk about his XXXX but results that day. Thank you friends! ):

Ok, must go do filing now. Bye! Prelim 2, 我要加油!

Rokudo Mukuro! Hahaha he's the Mist Guardian in the Vongola Family and seriously I like him damn much because he's very mysterious. You don't know when he will appear and every time he appears it will be those heroic moments! He's a very capable person and even his disciple Flan is very pro. :D He's those kind of person you don't dare to joke with cuz he's scary, but can joke with those close to him. So cute. :)


The vest and the boots match very nicely. :)

[Continued at 1.24am]

Waiting for files to be back up into my hard disk. It took more than 5 h already I think.. Now I'm super sleepy.. I'm typing rubbish now I know. Sleeeeeepppppppyyyyy.

Bought GongCha Green Milk Tea hahahaha suggested by that Dumb Gold.

This morning I walked up the great wall and realised its closed. At that moment I was damn irritated I tell ya. I walked ALL THE WAY up there, nope I think I RAN ALL THE WAY UP, just to find that it's locked and I needed to take the long route. Then something happened ah bla bla bla.. as I walked, I felt really aiya I don't know. My mum's problem had added on to the frustration. She was like this all the time, you know when it comes to money issue she just.. We just gotten some angbao $$$. And she just wanted me to pay for EVERYTHING, ring file, CO FUND, highlighters, pen refills, EVEN MY SPECTACLES.

Seriously la, where got $50 frame one!? (By the way, my specs shop is in Bugis and when I reached there at around 6.30pm, 8 promoters were all busy with work. While those quite common specs shop that you can find in Tamp, or any shopping centre, were really empty. Really no customer eh!) Ok back to the topic. YEA! She told me to pay for the specs and it's $200.. The person gave me 30% because I was a 忠实顾客(I bought 3 specs there eh.) so originally it was how much.. err I calculated it's $286 OMG. My dad just bought a pair of specs there for $400 and he said it's cheap for an adult's specs because adults... They always want designer brand. And my dad wanted transition lenses thats why.. And I'm growing up too, its the lenses that were expensive, no that I purposely chose expensive stuff..

I realised I'm saving for NOTHING. All I did was to save and save, but the problem was, WHAT DO I SAVE TO BUY??!

Eh seriously I don't know. Prom dress? O.o Mum said she will help me settle that when it's time. Bags? No need, I have bags.. I forgot! I think I wanted to buy something so I started saving but now I forgot!

I keep forgetting stuff recently. I can remember people's faces but not their names. Wanted to take something from kitchen but forgot, so walked back into the room, SUDDENLY REMEMBERED, walked out and saw something else and brought it with me to the room, then realised I didn't need it..

Oh. And my neighbour damn idiot. Wahlao I shouldn't have helped them sweep the flower pot and soil man. I saw their plant on the floor and the pot was shattered. I picked up the plant and took a broom to sweep. So nice right. Then the mum and the 2 children came back, and they just stood there. I looked up and told them it's shattered. The mum took the broom away from me and said ok thanks. I walked back to my door and was finding my keys outside the gate. I heard the mum said:"No, wind can never blow a plant to the ground. Cannot be the wind." The kids were looking at me. You think I'm soooooo 吃饱没事做 go throw your damn pot? I have so many pots too, NICER THAN YOURS SOME MORE, why don't I throw mine but yours?! 好心没好报.

I am going off topic.

Back back back!! I think CO sucks now. Don't have any motivation to stay there longer. I love the music, duh I've been learning it since 8, just some people there..

This morning I was really on the verge of crying. The tears were so close to falling. I saw many people walking into the tower hall and their faces.. OK FINE. I really really really almost turned back and GO HOME. Then I saw DumbGold who was smiling and waving. Instantly I changed my mind. When I reached CO room, I saw my 4th week junior(seen her for the 4th week) Valerie smiling at me. Her smile was complicated. She was like asking me if I was fine, at the same time telling me to cheer up. Her smile is this unique! I stared at her for a while and gave her a smile too. The motivation that made me stay was really friends and the performance.

To someone:
Don't say I've changed. I don't care. Can you confidently tell me that you didn't change? Your change was unpredictable. Your change was overnight. You were the one who put our friendship to an end. Stop finding/picking the flaws in me. One more year, no, just a few more months.. And you don't need to see my disturbing face again. I cried whenever I thought of what happened that caused the not-supposed-to-happen change in you. Did you ever feel sad? You just find me an eye sore right?

End. Gonna practise Guzheng. And you know what, Guzheng only get 3 bars of solo in the whole song. No wonder nobody wants to play it. Imagine primary school my conductor sees Guzheng as the centre of attention in CO.. Now? Corner of attention...

Wanted to log in to some dumb website to make some dumb payment for some dumb application and IT BANNED ME FROM LOGGING IN BECAUSE I DID NOT LOG OUT PROPERLY LAST TIME. And it's 30 minutes... = =

So let's watch IP MAN for now and wait for the time to pass!

= = And CNY is totally boring this year. Nothing to do.

..

That's Hyori. She's famous for being a hot dancer but her singing is rather ordinary. (:

It's gonna be CNY soon. Hehehehe. Share with you all something.. My mum is really superstitious. When my dad placed the calendar on the wall, she said it's very nice despite the fact that it was crooked and a bit weird because its top was not parallel to the clock.

I told my dad it's WEIRD! And she glared at me cuz a calendar means a whole new year and I must say good things.= = So I have to keep the opinion to myself and let the thing continue to look out-of-no-where?!

Every CNY she will be EXTRA strict with the things we say. On the first day of CNY, I probably got the most number of scoldings. She was like.. NOTHING ALSO SCOLD. I should just totally shut up? Cuz I talk a lot to my bro and make too much comment and she will try to find faults and SCOLD.

Seriously eh... If I didn't remember wrongly, there's this time I put on plaster on the back of the feet cuz of the new shoes, and got scolded. Cuz put plaster on CNY, you will put it on for the rest of the year.. And during dinner I will also get scolded. Argh sian...

Most scoldings come before we go out. That is the time which you eat your breakfast, change into new clothes and get ready. Cuz I always very slow motion so I will get scolded. = = Aiya I tell you, I'm so prepared to get scolded again. If she nags I'm fine cuz I've mastered the skill of SINGING IN MY HEAD. When she talks I just play SNSD songs in my head then I will not care what she says. :P but her killer glare will make you suddenly feel the anger and adrenaline rushing through your vein..

Night and happy CNY! I must strive to get more angbao $$$ hahaha what nonsense..

16/1/12

Ok, if you wonder what happened on Twitter, I'm gonna blog about it now. No point keeping it all to myself, cry and make myself upset. Say it out! Then forget it.

Okay I showed my dad the shoes I wanted to buy, it was from F21 and rather normal. It's like the typical Rubi shoes without laces. Quite cool and its red. He said it's childish. Fine. I found another one from Rubi and its rather popular among girls, there are a lot in New Look and it's made of leather. Yea Rubi sells it at $34.95 per pair.

He said its old-fashioned. For your info, the fashion trend now is 复古, means to wear old-fashioned stuff and its the fashion RIGHT NOW. That's why you saw a lot of high waist shorts and skirts, tucked in shirts, stripes and denim jackets. Those stuff appeared in my mum's photo album when she was dating my dad..

My dad said he's gonna take me to buy new shoes. I said I don't want. I had something in mind that I wanted to buy and I had no ideas what he was thinking so I asked him. He said: you want then want, don't ask. HOW YOU EXPECT ME TO DO IN A SITUATION LIKE THIS?! What if its something I don't like?! My dad is good at forcing people buy stuff he likes but we don't like. It happened last year when he forced my bro to buy a good quality but ugly backpack for $70. With this amount of $$, I am certain you can get a nicer bag with same quality. But my bro had no choice, so he bought it but rarely used it.

I went to get my own shoes today. Walked from Somerset to Orchard, then took train to BUGIS, then went to TAMPINES after that.. Was so tired but finally bought something I wanted.

When Dad came back the first thing he said was: 很老土，你的眼光实在是。。I said I DON'T MIND. Then when my mum came back, she told me it was nice. But after she heard what my dad said, she joined in by saying its for AUNTIES. Seriously la, go on the streets and find one AUNTIE wearing the same shoes as me I give you $10. I tried to argue but then my bro also joined in. = =

I told them, with that amount of $$ you think I can get VERY pretty shoes? You give me $100 la, then I go buy expensive shoes. You think I don't know how to spend $$$ on expensive stuff? If I'm like my bro, who's willing to spend YOUR $69.90 on a FREAKING shirt, I can also buy nice clothes what. I think that $20-$30 is enough for a teenager. But you all...

My dad has some students who are models and he will talk about them during dinner at times. There's this particular girl he often mentions.. She's 180cm and super skinny and fair. She always wear the same style of clothes, that is LONG jeans and T shirt. But because she's sooooooooooo pretty, she looks good in everything she wears.

I'm not 180cm, I'm only 162cm. I'm not as skinny and fair as her, and I don't wear long jeans. I don't have her pretty face or her art talent or WHATEVER. I'm just not as good as her. But one thing should make me wayyyyy better than her that is - I'm your daughter.

People always feel that their children are the BEST among all the children out there. Why can't you think the same? Just think of the stuff I did for you UNCONDITIONALLY? I stayed up overnight to help you type one document because you were too tired. Everybody was going to bed, leaving me alone in the LIVING ROOM. Mum even came out to tell me to quickly finish because the typing on the keyboard was too noisy.

What's this?

Fine I'm not gonna care. Your students are better than me, I don't care. I'm gonna prove to you that I'm important in your life, not those bitches.

Listened to Banmal Song [반말송] again because JiaLin posted it. :) Really, it makes you feel like you're in love for the first time. :) Argh I'm day-dreaming again~ I realised for WGM series, the guy will love the girl more. Like YongHwa and Nichkhun. For this song, I prefer the YongSeo version, cuz the duet sounds umm... Don't know how to explain. :P



Need a cup of coffee to stay awake everyday. Mum's coffee is too bitter so every time needa add sugar and she insists that it's a little bit too SWEET for her. = = It's 50% reduced sugar Mum!
By the way, that's SHOICHI. The first time I saw him(NOT THIS YOUNG SHOICHI IT WAS THE OLDER SHOICHI) I found him attractive~ YEA~


I think people who works with mic are cool. Extremely cool! I have a lot photos with Taemin with mic hahaha although his role in SHINee is lead dancer. Taemin-ah, you're TOOOO thin. You're only 53kg! (his height this year = ONE SEVEN SEVEN CM) You are seriously underweight! Like my skinny bro.. = = 168cm, 43kg. EAT MORE!

And I wonder how HyunA lost weight. She lost SEVENTEEN kg from 57kg to 40kg before Bubble POP, and another 2 kg during the promotion period. Yes she's 38kg now. In such a short time, she lost a total of NINETEEN kg. Do singers/idols have to torture themselves like this? Can't help, they need to be perfect on screen. :\

Need to go study now. Did NOTHING productive today..