Ep 50 when they took wedding photos together...

Nichkhun must be real happy. :]

Don't cry Vic Omma! :'( Khun Appa will be there, forever and ever.

No.. KhunToria is ending. <|3 They've been through nearly 70 episodes together. Nichkhun even brought her to Thailand to see her "in-laws" and now everything's coming to an end. That time when Adam couple were ending, both Jokwon and Ga-in cried till their eyes swelled.

There's an ending to everything.. There's no forever. Yea there's no forever.

I was looking at SNSD videos on the way home and I realised HyoYeon always got neglected and the camera just won't go to her. Is it because YoonA is the image/prettiest of SNSD so her face must be shown most of the time? But she doesn't get to sing that's really sad. When you get to sing, you tend to stand out because that YOUR part.

Singing is hard, yes it is. And TaeYeon's angelic voice (she sang Korea national anthem during one soccer match) is not just PLAY PLAY. Everyone can dance but not everyone can sing. That's why those who can sing get the attention. Everytime I look at HyoYeon I just feel a little bitter and no matter what, I WILL LOVE HYOYEON, DANCING QUEEN!

Okay I've thought of this again and again. Music is NOT for living. Yes it is not. Unless you're a true pro at it and you are gonna dedicated your whole life into it, you will never be the best. Know why? There're simply TOOOOO many people doing the same thing as you. Today I overheard, (okay I always always overheard.. BUT IS THEY TALK TOO LOUD MAH) two juniors saying some stuff..

Okay because there'll be this interview section with everybody and we have to talk + play some music. Then they were saying if they wanna get in, they should use Guzheng. It's like saying if they use GZ, they're gonna get in FOR SURE. I was thinking "Walao another two learning GZ." It's really COMMON AND COMMON AND COMMON UNTIL LIKE DON'T KNOW WHAT. It's really like going into the street anyhow pull one person out and the person tells you that he/she learns piano/guitar.

WHY ARE THEY GETTING MORE AND MORE COMMON. Piano, guitar, violin, drum sets, saxophone. For Chinese music, people learn Guzheng, ErHu, Ruan. IT'S REALLY SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO COMMON. One day I should go learn harp or trumpet.

And now I am super sian..... Super super sian......

Today was fun though. BECAUSE I KNOW HOW TO PLAY. And Guzheng got solo in JuHuaTai. THREE BARS! THREE BARS EH! :'( Although Pipa also have soloSSSSS but the cool-ness is not the same. T-T JayChou made GZ as the accompaniment for the song what. T-T If I remember correctly, (must ask Jaslyn to confirm) we played JuHuaTai for Price Giving + Speech Day when I was P5. And it was awkward because I was crying as I play.

Speaking of that time.. I SO DUMB OH YEA. Okay I was nowhere to be seen during the last rehearsal yea, I was hugging some seniors SOMEWHERE, I forgot where. When I realised I was late, I ran up the stairs leading to backstage. And saw SOMEONE telling the teacher about me. Then the teacher saw me and he was damn relieved. He told me,"No matter what happens, you're a performer right now. Wipe off your tears and do your best."

That's really really very touching so I told cha I cried while I play. And the worse thing was, my teacher made me play the group 2 melody when the 3 awesome girls(Jaslyn, ZhiJia and XiWen) beside me were all playing group 1 melody. So I also don't know if I played wrongly or what.. Umm yea. I cried the most that year, I think. I didn't cry that much when I was graduating.

Those were all 陈年旧事, let's not mention it anymore. Like people said: Learning GZ is your PAST, don't bring it up anymore. You love it, keep it in your heart. Now I understand why I NEVER see Mengyuan touch the GZ in CO room before, and why I don't see my Jocie senior mention a word of it. Because now, Pipa is my 本分. No matter how lousy you are, you have to accept it.

So now I'm sad.. Hais I just hate it hate it hate it when I think of their faces when they wanted to show off how pro they are to me. They're trying to 刺激 me or what? But... THE THING IS OUT OF TUNE and you're...... showing off? :)

OKAY. NOW RECOMMENDING THIS GIRL. I subscribed to her already. ^^ She's damn pro at those KPOP dances. KPOP dances are influenced by hip-hop so you need... ENERGY and flexibility at times. (It is a 团体 right? Energy.)

Okay. I'm working hard for my theatre studies. Hwaiting! :D

Now I'm super irritated by the Ebuddy Messenger. Fail like s**t because I closed all chats and all the history gone. But it wasn't as annoying as last time when the messages inside my Sony Ericsson phone got deleted. Luckily don't have important or memorable stuff if not I will anyhow scold people again.

[continued at 2255]

Just now when I walked into my room to get a hanger for Mom, I realised I forgot to cover my GZ after playing. THEN I REALISED IT IS GORGEOUS OMG. If I can ever afford a super advanced GZ like the one ShaoTian got... I WILL BE SO HAPPY. His totally wasted because it's collecting dust in his living room.

Okay let's see. If I am rich enough in future... I will either make my house super western or super Chinese. I wanna have a small room that I put the instruments I learn, the music books and collections of rare scores. :] So awesome right! I wanna have a Billy bookcase that stretches acrossssssssss my living room and it is so high that it reaches the ceiling. It will be painted WHITE. I want to have a small corner (or maybe a garden?) for plants and water. But I will not keep fish cuz I don't know to raise them well.

I must earn enough money to let Daddy and Mommy go tour around the world. Before I can go Korea, I must earn enough money OMG. OH YEA! I must have one corner for car models and remote toys! Then must have collection of TRANSFORMERS too! AH AH! And collection of wrapping paper! HAHA. :] Then must have one room of Daddy's art pieces. NO! His art pieces will be displayed in my living room and his room with Mom!

YEA OH YEA! I want my study room's bookcase to be those in Chinese drama. Very hard to find I know. :] It's like antique!? Then must set aside one part of table to let me practise calligraphy. I really wanna learn calligraphy from Dad if I have the chance! It just reminds me of how stupid and un-talented that I am that I can't inherit his art genes. :'(

Okay that's future, let's think about what to do NOW.

P1-P2: Alicia left me with another girl I forgot her name at the end of P2.

P3: Great life with Clarissa.

P4: YuLin angry with me for being with Karm.

P5: Karm angry with me for being with Nung.

P6: Nung angry with me for being with... Gajing or Ashley?

The history of my broken friendship.

I'm sorry girls. I admit I'm not a good friend. I know I ignore people's fee-ling so much that they just leave me one by one. People come, people go. It's fate that let us meet. Let's treasure the chance that fate gave us..

GaGa was always with me when I was P6.. I remember her apologising to Karm immediately when she found out that Karm was angry with her. I asked her why, as in she didn't even know what's happening! She told me "自尊算什么? If apologising can bring my friend back to me, why not?" I never, yes I NEVER tried to apologise to friends even when I know I'm in the wrong. Maybe that's because of my horoscope? That I'm stubborn and unwillingly to give in even if I know I'm wrong.

As I grow, I slowly learn that Ga is right. 为了朋友, your pride shouldn't be the priority. If you're wrong, DUH OF COURSE APOLOGISE. Even if not, you HAVE to try to speak to your friend and find out why he/she is angry. Because people won't be angry for no reason what. It must be something that you've done wrongly that causes that tension.

Okay I realised I really really have to balance out between friends. I really have to prioritize. And I'm really sorry GoldGold, for making you feel that way today. I don't know if everything will go back to normal but really, I do treasure you. A lot. :(