8 Jan 2012

Long time no blog. Just downloaded a blogging app so I can blog easier. (:

I am quite unhappy about my specs recently. As in.. I CANNOT SEE CLEARLY I think I need to change a new one. Yea but telling my mum is another thing cus I know she sure has a lot to say, again. So every time I think of it, I am angry. Not angry at her but myself. I'm angry that why at this age, I still cannot buy the things I want by MYSELF. Why must I ask my parents to buy the thing ME want?? It's a DUH when you're young, but I'm not young already! I am really determined to go find part time job after O's cus this damn feeling is frustrating.

So the only thing I can do is to SAVE. I shall skip meals to save the $$. I don't care. This is very irritating. Since I can't earn, I just save my pocket money.

Bro bought his set of CNY clothes for $120. His pants alone costs $119.90 and after discount it's $89.90. My top was $33 from Forever 21. When I asked if I could buy another dress or maybe denim shorts, it's a NO. And my mum still asked if my bro wanted another set of clothes. He bought his clothes from Esprit which the cheapest for guys is like $59.90. I don't even walk into Esprit to get their products cuz they are firstly not suitable for me and secondly they are too expensive.. When I wanted a pair of new shoes for $15, it's a NO too.

It's not like I'm super poor that I starve everyday, why can't I buy stuff I like?

Sigh.

Rich people get shopping money, $50-$100 per trip. My money, I SAVED them. Will you ever understand how difficult it is when it comes to this damn $$ issue? I hate it to the max when I carry pathetic amount of $$$ when I go out. I'm 17,.for goodness sake.

Realised something? Every time I go out with friends, I seldom buy clothes or anything that I can wear. Maybe bracelets or rings that's all. It's totally impossible to get a top or a pair of shorts WITHOUT asking my mum for permission. I go shopping with friends, to see them buy clothes. Lol.. -__- nevermind, I'm used to it already.

It's 1am and I can't sleep. Drank coffee just now to keep myself awake.. which resulted in this. -___-

I realised Wednesdays are gonna be busy for me. CCA 3-6pm, tuition 7-9pm. Where's my dinner?? Hmm... I'm going crazy because of the bad timing. And I'm gonna bathe after 9?! If 9.30 can finish everything, I'm gonna start hw. What if there's a test next day?! And Dumb Gold's piano lesson is on Wed right! Wah seriously... if is do something I like maybe ok but since it's not, I think I am gonna COMPLAIN COMPLAIN COMPLAIN COMPLAIN.

Shut up idiot. Time to sleep good night. Oyasumi!

Umm so.. LONG TIME NO POST. Yea yea not really long ok.

And I just got shocked by The Boys MV because I forgot to lower down the volume and I was listening using EARphones. OMG that was damn loud. You can try it if you don't believe. :)

Well Facebook is kinda DEAD now yet Twitter is VERY active with ~6 tweets/refresh. LOL 6 tweets per REFRESH. Life sucks now. Holidays are purely a period time that make you 1)LAZY 2)GAIN WEIGHT 3) Become stupid. I should use this time to study + revise + work hard isn't it...

Sian.

Very sian..

Super sian..

Dot dot dot.

Is 'sian' the ONLY word you can use to describe the situation?

*Yawn*

Enough of rubbish, time to be serious.. [I keep thinking I'm not that good, yea like obviously. You're good at so many things, I can't even handle my own studies. I don't have the right to..y'know. :( I need time to think and think about those feelings, and time SHOULD heal the wounds. There's no wound. YET. I don't know. Fine.. Another time to tell myself IT'S IMPOSSIBLE SO DO YOUR OWN THING AND LIVE YOUR OWN LIFE BY NOW.]

Okay bye. Remember to TWWEEEET. ;]

Everybody is talking about this show, The Apple of My Eye. The female lead is very cute I love her unique smile. Bankrupt recently so I dont think I can go watch it by this December. Let's wait till the DVD is out or Funshion is able to kope it from somewhere..

I think I did a lot bad stuff this year. Okay I sort of "created a gap" with someone's friendship with the other person because he did something bad TO ME and I took revenge. I was really very unhappy about what he did yea.. But the gap wasn't really CREATED because he did say something unpleasant about his friend. And I was sooooo mean that I.. SIGH. Is it really my fault? :(

Well there's another mistake that I made this year.. I made someone really sad, when I made him so happy just a few days ago before I made him sad. Okay confusing right I DON'T CARE I LAZY EXPLAIN. I was afraid that.. I will never fight with my best friend for A GUY. I don't know la, I just don't like it. I'm sorry, but I can do nothing about the situation.. I cannot tell that person all this shit right.

Sometimes you regret about the decisions you've made, but you can't do anything to revive the memories. Then... too bad.

Life has to move on, we have to move on. People say that there'll be better things in future if you let go of the past. But people still live in their memories some times, whenever they are alone or at night. Sometimes I will look out of the windows of my room, (because there's a highway somewhere near so the houses opposite my block is really far away) and I will look at the buildings outside. AND because I live at a higher storey, I can see quite far.

When I can't sleep at night, I will just get up and stare outside. It's really nice, especially when you see the blinking lights of planes moving in the dark sky, it reminds me of China. I miss China soooo much. Sigh.

Last last year, I went back for a week. The night before returning to Spore, I was at my grandma's house. I remember my grandpa holding back his tears and he didn't wanna come down to see us off. While my grandma, holding on to my mummy's hands asking her to take care and stuff. And my cousin-in-law cried which made everybody cry. My mum was crying, grandma was crying, cousin was crying, me too. And the crying didn't stop till I almost reached my house after 1 hour.

I cried in the plane for half an hour I think.. And I hate that feeling seriously. If I go back again, will the same thing happen? :( I don't want it's really very annoying feeling. And I took a whole week to adapt to Spore OMG horrible. After I went VS for a day I took some time to adapt to AHS can you imagine..

Ok bye now.