I'm being foolish again.. It's bro's birthday plus Daddy's day today. I actually cried during the meal, and ruined everything. Dad left the table immediately. I wasn't wrong! If you see my mom's fking look and behavior when eating, you will probably just slam the table. I gave signs, hinted for her to fking STOP her nonsense, she continued. Yea, they have some problems going on themselves. And there she was trying to get herself drunk, not eating, and spill her drink all over the table.. Seriously!??! I even said: HEY, I'm gonna beat someone up. Wasn't this clear enough?! Stop your nonsense!? I hated it even more when she even started to talk crap. Oh god, STOP IT! Dad was okay, commenting on the food and stuff, yet there she was, trying to be in a state of.... DEPRESSION!? I was so ANGRY that I cried. And she still asked me to eat. Eat what shit man. I left the table after my dad. I couldn't continue a dinner like this man. One person quiet, one person just eat, another tried to ACT crazy. Enough! Why must I be the one to ruin everything?! You all have something just say la! I'm really very angry.. The first thing she came home was to occupy me with the crap they two had. I am still a child, YOU THINK I CAN TAKE THOSE STUFF!? What money what love I DON'T CARE! I DON'T CARE! What bitch, who is that bitch, why must I go find out!? I feel like dying. I wanna study, but I can't. No mood.

Brain is in a mess.. Went out yesterday and today, to Orchard and Bugis. Something happened and urgh I don't know.. I don't know what is it like if that is real you know. I don't wanna live in a family like that.. No! No! It will never happen! I wish that bitch knows that she has a husband and keep her bitchy actions to herself. I'm not making everything sound obvious, right? I'm very very scared, if one day this really happen, and I will have to cry every time I think of this and it will make a gigantic change in my life that may drive me insane. I'm not exaggerating.. O level year ok, please please don't do this. Had a nightmare last night and it feels real. I wanna go to China right now, maybe alone. I just want some quiet time and free from all these troubles.. It's enough! I'm praying really hard that the bitch is not really doing it. Or else... Both me and my brother won't let her off. I'm not sure what we will do, if we are really angry. To you both. I'm really scared to see you two fight. I would always cry and don't know what to do... Please please stop quarrelling. Give me some peace to study... I'm really running out of time...)':

Whenever I'm angry I can't hide it. I just keep crying but the anger won't go off. To the damn fking bitch: You fking bitch stay away from my family I tell you. So old still dye your damn fking hair BLONDE. Look at your fking face in the mirror. Just look! Old bitch wear hot pink dress with shiny silver belt? Use your damn eyeballs to look! If you fking bitch ever become the reason that something BAD happens to my family, you pay for it. I swear I will kill you bitch. Wah bitch isn't the word to describe you this kind of woman. In Chinese you're just 下贱. I'm still tolerating. I will tolerate it, for now. If you fking woman who is so bitchy, continues to be bitchy, you watch out. I will go look for you, scream at your face, and slap you. Don't say I'm scared, I'm just waiting for a chance.