A POST OF ANGER

This is only for THAT PERSON. Not for my dearest friends like SC, Amanda, Yu Lin, Ying Na, Karm, Jia Qi, Wen Jing, Wan Qing, Hilary and so on so forth.

I just want to make this clear. This is my blog. I can post whatever I feel like posting. I don't think I have to look at YOUR face and see if YOU are happy about my posts. I don't think I have the need to. And stop your crap about me spreading your rumours because I DIDN'T, that's the fact. I don't want to delete posts just because YOU don't like it and please stay away from my blog, I don't welcome you. Because you are damn irritating. And please, don't use the word 'asshole' as 随便 as like what you said to me. I felt frustrated for the whole day just because the word was used on me. I did nothing wrong yet I was the one apologising. Now, I take back my words. I don't feel sorry towards my action at all and I don't think I need to apologise. Spy agents, please stop coming to my blog and tell THAT PERSON about what I wrote about THAT PERSON. I am totally disgusted by your behaviours.

P.S. I almost scream some vulgarities out but I don't think it's worthy. I don't want to pollute my blog just because of THAT PERSON. Honestly speaking, I really didn't hate someone this much in my 1*(age is private, I am so old...) years of life.

Fun Moment

1.无忧无虑，顽皮，愉快的人你喜欢自由自在，无拘无束的生活。你的座右铭是：生命只能活一次，因此你尽量享受每一刻。你好奇心旺盛，对新事物抱有开放的态度；你向往改变，讨厌束缚。你觉得身边的环境都不断在变，而且经常为你带来惊喜。

2. 独立，前卫，不受拘束你追求自由及不受拘束，自我的生活。你的工作及消闲活动都与艺术有关。你对于自由的渴求有时候会使你做出令人出人意表的事。你的生活方式极具个人色彩；你永远不会盲目追逐潮流。相反地，你会根据自己的意思和信念去生活，就算是逆流而上也在所不惜。

3. 时常自我反省,敏感的思想家你对于自己及四周的环境能够比一般人控制得更好更彻底。你讨厌表面化及肤浅的东西；你宁愿独自一人也不愿跟别人闲谈，但你跟朋友的关系却非常深入，这令你的心境保持和谐安逸。你不介意长时间独自一人，而且绝少会觉得沉闷。

4. 务实，头脑清醒，和谐你作风自然，喜欢简单的东西。人们欣赏你脚踏实地，他们觉得你稳重，值得信赖。你能够给予身边的人安全感，你给人一种亲切，温暖的感觉。你对于俗气的，花花绿绿的东西都不屑一顾，对时装潮流抱着怀疑的态度；对于你来说，衣服必须是实用及大方得体的。

5. 专业，实事求事，自信你掌管自己的生活，你相信自己的能力多于相信命运的安排。你以实际，简单的方式去解决问题。你对日常生活中所遇到的事物抱有现实的睇法，并且能够应付自如。人们知道你可担重任，因此都放心把大量工作交给你处理。你那坚强的意志使你时刻都充满信心。未达到自己的目标之前，你绝不罢休。

6. 温和，谨慎，无攻击性你生性随和，但处事谨慎。你很容易认识朋友，但同时享受你的私人时间及独立生活。有时候，你会从人群中抽身而出，一个人静静地思考生活的意义，并自娱一番。你需要个人的空间，因此有时会隐匿于美梦当中，但你并不是一个爱孤独的人。你跟自己及这个世界都能够和陆共处，而你对现状亦非常满意。

7具分析力，可靠，自信.你对事物的灵敏度令你可以发现到旁人忽略了的东西。这些就是你的宝石，你喜欢发掘这些美好的东西。你的教养对于你的生活有很特别的影响。你有自己高雅独特的一套，无视任何时装潮流。你的理想生活是优雅而愉快的，而你亦希望跟你接触的人们都是高雅而有教养的。

8. 浪漫，爱幻想，情绪化你是一个感性的人。你拒绝只从一个严肃，理智的角度去理解事物。你的感觉亦十分重要。事实上，你觉得人生必需要有梦想才叫活得充实。你不接受那些轻视浪漫主义及被理智牵着鼻子走的人；而且不会让任何事物影响到你那丰富的感情及情绪。

9. 精力充沛，好动，外向你不介意冒险，特别喜欢有趣的，多元化的工作。相比之下，例行公事及惯例会令你没精打采。你最兴奋的是可以积极参与任何比赛活动，因为这样你就可以在众人面前大显身手了

Hatred

So glad that I didn't cry today. Although there's something sad. I controlled my anger and tears throughout P.E. today. I know I shouldn't cry. I should NEVER cry. I am old enough to know what is right and wrong. It's wrong to cry. It's right to keep the sadness to yourself and not let others see it.

I couldn't do it last week. Tears just burst out like that, looking at those scenes. Sigh... Another sigh... My mind is so empty right now. Thinking of the sentences again and again, repeatedly. I hate AHS. Again. I really hate AHS. I HATE AHS AND 1 DILIGENCE! Just because of ONE specific person.

Somehow I regret coming to this school. I feel terrible every Friday and every Friday at home. I thought I can relax and free from schoolwork on Fridays. Instead I have negative feelings. I just want to die. I had enough of these rubbish. Arh!

My mind is very empty now... I can only type all these out. My mind is very blank and I am feeling really dizzy. I can't think.

P.S. Ga Jing has become very emotional these days... Sigh

Suicide

What the hell... I am feeling more and more depressed. And more and more frustrated at everything. I feel like committing suicide now. Life is meaningless to me. Friends are like that, enemies are like that. I can't even blog what I want to blog. It feels like my world's in a mess. Arh... Can I die? I have no courage to live on anymore.

LOVE YOU YINGNA

WHAT CAN I SAY?

WHAT MORE CAN I SAY?

WHAT MORE CAN I SAY ABOUT YINGNA?

WHAT MORE CAN I SAY ABOUT YINGNA'S POST?

WHAT MORE CAN I SAY ABOUT MY FEELING TOWARDS YINGNA'S POST?

WHAT MORE?!

WHAT MORE?!!

WHAT MORE?!!!!

OF COURSE...

...

...

OF COURSE WHAT?

...

HUH?!

...

WHAT?!

...

WHAT IS THAT???

...LOUDER?

...

YES!

TOUCHED!

OF COURSE!

Everyone go read her post!~ Click----> Yingna

P.S. Hui Wen! Recover soon! I mean, get well soon!~ :D

Lols, copied and pasted this from my previous post. This is my forever everlasting favourite post. No other post can be compared to this one. Let's 回忆...

Wednesday, August 06, 2008
This year's HCL compo topic are these:
命题: 我最感激的人
看图: (我忘了)
Although I chose picture as what I was told to, I had wanted to choose to write 命题. Since I can't write in exam, fine, I will write here.
每个人的一生中都会有他感激的人, 我也不例外. 在我内心深处, 有一个人让我一辈子也无法忘怀. 她就是我的奶奶.
记得六年前,我还只是一个黄毛丫头. 天天在奶奶的脚下转来转去, 天天奶奶这, 奶奶那儿. 简直把奶奶当成了宝了. 我妈妈说,我是奶奶一手带大的. 奶奶对我付出的爱比天高,比海深. 因为父母每天早出晚归, 奶奶就成了我唯一能依靠的人.
记得那一年的某一天, 女佣放假回家, 家里被我搞的一团糟. 爸爸妈妈下班回家, 妈妈气得怒发冲冠, 顾不上三七二十一, 就抓住我的衣袖, 取出藤鞭, 一气之下就往我腿上打. 我吓得哇哇大哭, 因为妈妈从来没有打过我. 奶奶看见了, 整颗心就像一块脆弱的玻璃, 轻轻地往地上一丢, 碎成了千片. 她快步地走像我, 抱着我大哭, 同时对妈妈说:"谁都不可以打荣荣! 要是你要打她, 先打我!"
妈妈被这个情景吓呆了. 她丢下藤编, 哭着跑过来把奶奶扶起. 那就是我第一次被打.
还有一次, 爷爷奶奶都在家, 爸爸妈妈上班还没回来. 我要正在看新闻的爷爷帮我把橱柜上的玩具拿下来. 爷爷看得津津有味, 根本不理睬我. 我很生气, 大声地骂:"爷爷坏, 是世界上最讨厌的! 我讨厌你, 讨厌你!" 接着我就跑到奶奶那儿向她诉苦. 奶奶心痛极了, 立刻叫爷爷帮我拿. 爷爷很生气, 想要打我, 我马上躲到奶奶背后. 爷爷想把我抓过去, 没想到他的手却被奶奶抓住. 她伤心的说:"打啊, 打啊! 打我啊! 打她就是打我. 你要打吗?! 打吧!" 说完抓起爷爷的手往自己身上敲. 我吓得面如土色, 不知所措. 过了一会儿, 我打电话给姑姑.
姑姑接到电话后马上赶了过来. 她到我家时, 奶奶坐在床头, 一声不吭地流着泪. 爷爷则一个人站在阳台沉思. 姑姑一边安慰奶奶一边叫我通知爸妈. 大概过了一会儿, 他们回来了. 听到事情的来龙去脉后他们都吓了一大跳.
大概过了一年, 我刚上幼儿园. 妈妈特别拿了一个星期的休假来陪我上学. 有一天, 我回到家. 很期待把一整天在学校发生的事告诉奶奶. 可是她在厕所里待了不知多久. 妈妈急了, 便让我去看看奶奶怎么了. 走到厕所前,我发现门没有关. 奶奶站在洗手盆旁吐. 接着她坐在厕所里的高椅上, 擦去脸上的泪水. 我飞快地跑到客厅里, 把这件事告诉了妈妈.
奶奶被诊断患上了糖尿病, 已经到了第四阶段. 医生建议要马上动手术. 奶奶一口拒绝. 因为成功率不高. 爸爸妈妈的心都要碎了. 奶奶曾这么对妈妈说:"我想用以后的日子陪你们. 我舍不得离开, 我放不下..."
为了能维持健康, 医生建议她打针. 而奶奶不想留在医院里, 所以医生建议她自己打针. 从医院回到家里的每一天, 奶奶都要忍受病痛的折磨. 有时我问她,"奶奶, 痛不痛?" 她总是笑着告诉我:"怎么会痛..."
针刺进手臂怎么会不痛? 而且还是自己把针刺进肉里! 妈妈每次看到这情景都会忍不住痛哭.
就这样过了几年, 我终于上小学了. 奶奶已经病得连起床都有困难. 她的双脚也肿了起来. 因为以前奶奶在中学教数学, 课堂上有不解之处我必定请教奶奶. 听了她的解释, 我总是非常明白其中的道理.
我读二年级的时候, 奶奶开始住院. 可是她总是闹着要回家. 爸爸妈妈也拿她没法, 只能让她在医院待上两星期, 回家休息一两天. 可是好景不长, 医生说奶奶的病情已经恶化, 必须留院治疗. 奶奶不喜欢吃医院里的食物, 每次都要妈妈煮送到医院去给她. 有一次, 我跟着爸爸妈妈到医院看望奶奶. 奶奶看到我, 边吞着泪水边吃着饭. 妈妈坐在她的身边, 替她夹菜. 吃了饭后, 奶奶带我到阳台上观看窗外的风景. 外面是一片绿油油的草地, 草地旁种了争奇斗艳的花儿和高大的树木. 奶奶轻轻的说:"荣荣啊, 要听妈妈的话啊. 要是我不在了, 没有人会阻止她打你的. 哎... 要照顾弟弟哦..."
我虽然没在医院时哭, 可是回到家后却怎么也忍不住了. 妈妈也非常伤心, 她抱着我, 用颤抖的声音对我说:" 你奶奶一生最满足的事就是把你带大... 可是就是为了你, 她付出了生命..." 我那时还小, 妈妈说的话我有些还听不是很明白. 可是我明白奶奶给我的爱, 给我的照顾.
那是我最后一次见到奶奶. 我最心爱的奶奶在医院里, 在我爸爸妈妈和姑姑的陪伴下走完了最后的生命. 姑姑的女儿, 也就是我的表姐接到姑姑的电话后对我说的第一句话就是:
"奶奶走了..."
我再也忍不住了, 我抱着她大哭. 我的女佣听到后一直告诉我:" 荣荣乖, 奶奶只是到一个很远很远的地方去了. 你要乖哦, 不然奶奶会很不开心的."
我真的很后悔. 我连奶奶最后的一面都没有见到. 我还没有对她说我想对她说的话. 我知道她在天国的某个地方看着我. 虽然我不知道她现在在哪儿, 我知道她一直都在我的身边.我知道她一直都看着我. 她会一直默默地照顾我.直到永远...
P.S: This is the true story of my grandmother.
God... I am crying like hell now. I really miss you Grandma!...

Helpless

So much things to do...
1. Memorise script for presentation.
2. Memorise the notes for Pipa. Moreover, I didn't bring the instrument back home and I can't practise... No doubt I would get a scolding tomorrow.
3. Science Test, diffusion and osmosis, so many concepts to memorise yet I didn't bring back my Science file.
4. New Moon. I have to return the book as soon as possible but I am only at Chapter 8.

Oh dear! I am suffocated in all these!!! *SCREAMS*