Currently watching Nung's recommendation - Buzzer Beat. Lead actor is YAMASHITA! ^^ Hmm. :D
I can't celebrate CNY this year. Neither can I wear bright-coloured clothes, both at home and outside. Sigh. Almost all my tops are bright-coloured and that's seriously a big problem. I can't go people's house to 拜年 too. So Mum was thinking to increase the Angbao money she and Dad is giving us this year. : )
Dad came back today. :D He didn't spend a lot of time at home with us but went to the restaurant immediately after his lunch. : ( He said today is 除夕, a lot people are coming to eat there. Mum went to help too. : ( My bro and I will have to wait for them to come back to have our reunion dinner.
Sigh.
A reunion dinner without Grandpa changes everything. Usually my parents will try to come home as early as possible to eat with us everyday because they mainly want to 尽孝道 to my grandpa. However, we don't have dinner together as often now, compared to last time, when my grandpa was still around.
Sigh.
My mum kept mentioning Grandpa in front of me which everytime make me want to cry. So I would ask her stop talking about him. She said I am so 没良心. I am trying hard not to think about it but she just keep bringing the topic up. I also want to accept the truth, but I can't! So why not let me just assume that the incident didn't happen? I don't want to accept the truth.
Don't be emo! CNY's tomorrow. I can't wear my new top, which is pink. : ( Luckily I bought a brown dress, although I seldom choose this kind of dark colour. Mum said she will just take us out for a walk, to 透透气 and that's all. No celebration. We just want to keep it 低调.
Okay that's about all I shall go bathe now. :D Oyasimi.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
I still can't get over my grandpa thing...*Sigh* I don't know how to accept it. Although I had prepared that this is going to happen, I still can't accept it when it really happened. Whenever I think about him, I cry. I feel that I really did not do enough for him.
To grandpa:
I don't know how to start. I keep telling myself not to cry but tears are just uncontrollable. You told me that you wanted to see me to get in a good university and lead a good life. You said you are going to live long till you're a hundred. Why didn't you keep your promise? Why did you give up? Do you really bear to leave us?...
I tried not to show the sadness in school but I broke down after I reached home. Sigh, I really wish I could go back and at least take a look at him before he leaves me forever. It might be the guilt that will I will carry with me forever.
Okay.
Took the same bus home with Jia Jin today. (Ga is blushing) His voice broke. o.O It sounded so low. I realised something. HIS EYELASHES ARE REALLY LONG!!! Oh I want to exchange eyelashes with Neel. T.T
To grandpa:
I don't know how to start. I keep telling myself not to cry but tears are just uncontrollable. You told me that you wanted to see me to get in a good university and lead a good life. You said you are going to live long till you're a hundred. Why didn't you keep your promise? Why did you give up? Do you really bear to leave us?...
I tried not to show the sadness in school but I broke down after I reached home. Sigh, I really wish I could go back and at least take a look at him before he leaves me forever. It might be the guilt that will I will carry with me forever.
Okay.
Took the same bus home with Jia Jin today. (Ga is blushing) His voice broke. o.O It sounded so low. I realised something. HIS EYELASHES ARE REALLY LONG!!! Oh I want to exchange eyelashes with Neel. T.T
P.S. This was the shirt that the guys wore for the CO concert. And they were thinking to wear this for the CNY performance. Yup. That was Nerd Nerd in the photo.
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
Okay. Today's rehearsal. 节奏一样乱套, as usual. : ( Wenqi's conductie found out who are the ones who led the whole Pipa section into chaos. Hmm... There's this teacher-in-charge who commented on CO's performance, saying that we went off beat. O.o We've improved a lot today! She even cancelled the funniest part that the Wushu people displayed, the part which 2 guys were doing the I don't know what's that called. One of them is Cheesehead that's all I know.
I found out that Cheesehead is better than Nerdi, much better. He bothers to SMILE while that Nerdi just act COOL which is NOT COOL at all. The more he acts, the uglier he looks. It's better to be yourself than to act. Why make life so difficult?
P.S. Mr Yeow was angry with the boys in my class today. He was really serious but they thought he was still joking around with them. Hmm, when will they grow up?
I found out that Cheesehead is better than Nerdi, much better. He bothers to SMILE while that Nerdi just act COOL which is NOT COOL at all. The more he acts, the uglier he looks. It's better to be yourself than to act. Why make life so difficult?
P.S. Mr Yeow was angry with the boys in my class today. He was really serious but they thought he was still joking around with them. Hmm, when will they grow up?
Monday, February 08, 2010
His smile always cheer me up in one way or another. I am currently reading a lot of 卫斯理 books. They are worth reading, seriously! I was wondering where did he get his inspiration from that his imagination is really...OMG! All those impossibles become possibles in his books and I AM ADDICTED TO THEM. Yea. Like the way I was once addicted to 金庸's books.
I realised I don't like 真实的书. The way I phrased my sentence was stupid. Well, dot dot dot... I prefer 古代的书和科幻的书 more than those stories that will really happen in reality. Sigh, it's better to stay away from the reality. Emo-ing?
Caught my 100th plane today. It was flying above Tanah Merah MRT Station when Jing and I was at the ice-cream store. I WAS SCREAMING!!! FINALLY!!! Aww man!
I am going to make my wish later. ^^ *Cheese* (Not referring to Ziqing's CheeseHead) *V handsign*
REHEARSAL TOMORROW.
Sunday, February 07, 2010
Went to Tampines for dinner as well as SHOPPING. Yup. Thanks to my dearest cousin, Reyce, I have another set of clothes for the coming CNY. ^^ Oh my mum bought the red shirt for me. The one for performance next Friday. She was complaining about the price. It's really quite expensive, $39.90 after discount, U.P was $69.90. Crazy.
I was trying to be a hardworking student by doing assessment books yesterday but I lost interest after only half an hour of practising some Math stuff. So I picked up a book to read instead. LOL. I have to practise a lot a lot of Math in order to achieve 70+ for Math. : ( Problem is that, I DON'T HAVE TIME.
I've realised my Sec 2 life is becoming more stressful. Every minute is precious. The stupid thing is that I FALL ASLEEP EASILY. Stupid. With projects, homework and TESTS, I really need MORE time. 2010 is my streaming year, I really need to do something about it. Study is the priority. Like what Mrs G said, "Your streaming is like the O' Level Exam for the Sec 4s."
*Sigh*
Next year is the SYF year. As usual, I believe there'll be additional practice sessions in the June holidays. Stress again.
Okay. The best solution to all these is to stay optimistic. Be positive about your situation, no matter how bad it is. But oopsie, I don't belong to this category. : ( I get upset over the tiniest(is there such word?) thing on Earth. Silly right?
Well I am happy. I am still happy today. Mum wanted me to trim my hair by next week. This time I must DEFINITELY remind the hairdresser a few times that I am TRIMMING my hair, not cutting it SHORT. I suffered from short fringe for 2 months and if this time she is CUTTING it again, I will CUT her bangs till she only have a few strains of hair dangling on her forehead.
I was trying to be a hardworking student by doing assessment books yesterday but I lost interest after only half an hour of practising some Math stuff. So I picked up a book to read instead. LOL. I have to practise a lot a lot of Math in order to achieve 70+ for Math. : ( Problem is that, I DON'T HAVE TIME.
I've realised my Sec 2 life is becoming more stressful. Every minute is precious. The stupid thing is that I FALL ASLEEP EASILY. Stupid. With projects, homework and TESTS, I really need MORE time. 2010 is my streaming year, I really need to do something about it. Study is the priority. Like what Mrs G said, "Your streaming is like the O' Level Exam for the Sec 4s."
*Sigh*
Next year is the SYF year. As usual, I believe there'll be additional practice sessions in the June holidays. Stress again.
Okay. The best solution to all these is to stay optimistic. Be positive about your situation, no matter how bad it is. But oopsie, I don't belong to this category. : ( I get upset over the tiniest(is there such word?) thing on Earth. Silly right?
Well I am happy. I am still happy today. Mum wanted me to trim my hair by next week. This time I must DEFINITELY remind the hairdresser a few times that I am TRIMMING my hair, not cutting it SHORT. I suffered from short fringe for 2 months and if this time she is CUTTING it again, I will CUT her bangs till she only have a few strains of hair dangling on her forehead.
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