I'm sorry Mum.
I don't think I will ever be a mother myself.
There are things that are more important for me to do.
Marriage seems so impossible for me. I'm sorry.

My mum was telling me that she will see if my daughter will grow up to be like me. So noisy, irritating, talkative, not caring and disobedient like me... I told her "it won't happen". She took it as I meant my daughter will not be like me. But I wanted to say... I am not gonna have a daughter.

What's the useless marriage thing doing man? Mum, you complain that you will be happier with another guy instead of Dad. You said you only loved Dad but being with him didn't really give you the things you want, what's love!? You said life with him was hard because your sister told you that teachers and especially ART teachers don't earn a lot and objected to the marriage. You insisted because you LOVE him..

What's love when you start to regret now?

What's love when you love each other, get married, but lead an unhappy life from then on?


You've done so much damage that I don't feel a thing when I see handsome guys.
I don't feel shy in front of guys anymore.
I am sooo oblivious to the fact that I'm supposed to treat them as guys.
I look away from guys because I'm afraid to fall again.
I couldn't get up but I will keep trying, regardless of the bruises.
The pain shall remind me of the pain.