Saturday, June 04, 2011


LG phone, rest in peace. :'( I am gonna miss you forever and no matter what, you will be the BEST and most AWESOME phone I've ever gotten. I love you.

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Time flies. It's gonna be the 8th month in 5 days time. I will continue counting every month. Hahaha, I sound like a fool right? :] It's okay, I had been a fool for so long. However, I've become much stronger after all this. I've learnt to pretend nothing happened, I've learnt to control my anger and my jealousy, I learnt that tears will not solve everything.

Thinking back, I only know how to cry thinking that people will sympathize me. I only thought of crying when I lost my phone. When I had so much left to study for MYE, I just stared at the books and cried. When those stupid Facebook stuff was driving me crazy, I just cry thinking that the pain will go away.

I am someone who thinks TOO MUCH and makes assumption for everything. I just keep imagining things that had happened, might happen etc. I cannot pretend I don't know and I don't care. I DO CARE. And caring about something too much... STUPID. Dumbass.

Frankly speaking, I'm real angry right now. Umm.. I just got a new phone right. My mum asked me to help her find her book and I told her it will 900% not be in my bookshelf. Then I told her to find it herself because I seriously have NO idea where it is. She said I'm too realistic. If she gives me any benefit I will definitely help her find. And she started all her naggings again.


.......... Seriously.


She said I'm totally cold-blooded and don't have feeling. Okay fine, I will not argue. What's the point?


Sigh.


Sometimes I just feel so sad that I don't know what you're talking about yet others all know. I don't want to mention NOT LIKE LAST TIME again, LAST TIME is LAST TIME, NOW is NOW. We are not even FRIENDS. Wow. I am gonna PRETEND I don't know you. And guess what, I only know who you WERE but not who you ARE.

Wtf I'm really very angry.

Monday, May 30, 2011

Guess what, I think I'm having Asthma now. It's just difficult to breathe and I have to constantly take deep breaths but it's just very uncomfortable. This is horrible. I haven't even touch my Tom Yam noodles till now.. I AM HUNGRY! But angry too.

I don't understand why the more I know you NOW, the more I HATE you. I really hate you man. Really! I didn't expect myself to hate someone this much seriously. You were the most trusted person IN THE PAST but now. No, I'm definitely not upset. I'm very angry. I cried last night thinking about the past, AGAIN for the don't know how many times, and I just fell asleep while crying.

I was concern about you, but I couldn't tell you. I wanted to ask you so much stuff but the questions just faded away as they piled up because I couldn't ask you. I know, I'm not important to you anymore. No, I never was. You never treated me as a good friend as what you told me. Okay I know this has been really long, going to be 7 months soon. But it just kept coming back to me that how much you've changed.

People said you will never change even when people dislike the way you do things. To me, you've changed dramatically. You've changed from a good friend into a stranger. You cared when the littlest thing happened in the past, but now, you won't blink even if I die.

That's how GIGANTIC, or whatever word can describe, you've changed.

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I won't be waiting for the day that you will change back to your old self because that day will never come.